Greetings Professor,
I am writing to formally introduce myself I am Raytheon Ang, currently pursuing a degree in telematics in Singapore Institute of Technology(SIT). I graduated from Ngee Ann Polytechnic in 2018 where I pursued a mechanical engineering diploma.
You might be wondering why I have decided to pursue the course of engineering. Well, it all began in secondary school. My keen interest in design & technology has aroused my curiosity in how things are fabricated and why they are made in specific and particular ways. The unanswered questions of the selection of materials and the different methods of fabrications spurred me to pursue mechanical engineering after O'levels in hopes of quenching my curiosity in the field.
During my three years in polytechnic, I was one of the fortunate few to be given the opportunity to contribute to my faculty through the Mechanical Engineering Society(MES). Through this experience, I learnt and adapted to present in front of huge crowds and honed my communications skills. I subsequently applied for a position in the Student’s Union, and I was well recognised and commended by my faculty’s advisor who endorsed me for the Vice-President role in the Union.
During my time as the VP and as the spokesperson for the Union, I handled several inter-school events and hosted meetings with the various school's representatives. Through this, I was presented with the opportunity to handle presentations as well as provide feedback and constructive criticism to my committee members. This huge exposure has sculpted my leadership and communication skills.
Despite my well-grounded communication skills, I would still inevitably feel frightened when presenting in huge crowds or in front of strangers. Through this module, I hope to learn more with regards to vocal communication and improve my writing. I look forward to your interactive lessons throughout the trimester. Thank you.
Yours sincerely,
Raytheon Ang
Revised on 8/10/2020.
Dear Professor Brad,
Thank you for the feedback that you have given, I have revised my personal intro and I hope that you can look through it again. Thank you.
Yours sincerely,
Raytheon
Dear Raytheon,
Thank you for your sharing in this detailed, informative letter. We readers learn quite a bit about you in relation to your interests, your leadership experience and your comm skills needs. I hope to see some of the leadership traits present themselves in our module!
In terms of language use, there are a few issues that you need to address in this letter so as to make more impressive impact:
sentence structure
-- I am writing to formally introduce myself, my name is Raytheon Ang, currently pursuing a degree in Telematics in Singapore Institute Of Technology (SIT). > (run on sentence/comma splice & overuse of capital letter)
-- My keen interest in Design & Technology (D&T) has aroused…